For the first time since the age of 19 I'm not working. Here, in no particular order, is what I have accomplished today (and it's only 4:00!):
1. Proofread a blog on salt for KT and shopswedish.com. Ironic, as she is the only one currently "in the salt mines".
2. Drove Audrey to school, argued with her about whether or not she is old enough to stay home alone overnight. Dropped her off without settling the matter - round two to follow, i'm sure.
3. Mowed the front yard. Was about to mow the back yard as well but then thought "fuck it, Al is unemployed too, he can mow the back". Told Al to mow the back. Fought with him about whether he needed to take a nap first.
4. Ate a leftover bratwurst from last night.
5. Led IFK Göteborg to a stunning 3-2 upset over Chelsea in FIFA10.
6. Rescued a mama duck and seven ducklings from the confines of our backyard fence, while fending off our obese yet remarkably skilled sadistic killing machine of a cat. I have video of my heroic efforts but lack the skill and/or patience to post it. Thought briefly about whether there was a career in duck whispering but decided there probably isn't.
7. Watched the last 15 minutes of the Carling Four Nations Cup stream between Scotland vs. Wales. Scotland won 3-1. Also, checked the result of the Bundesliga relegation battle between VfL Bochum and Borussia Mochengladbach. They tied 1-1, meaning Mochengladbach wins 2-1 on aggregates and avoids being relegated to the 2. If you read more than the first couple of words of this accomplishment, congrats.
8. Looked for available jobs online. Applied for one of them. Thought about whether I really wanted it, decided it might be ok.
9. Panicked about "what the fuck am I going to do now", neared a meltdown, dialed it back a bit, avoided meltdown.
10. Went for a run, but not before mapping out an exactly 5K course. I'm not running one extra step, dammit!
11. Consulted Audrey's copy of Vogue which arrived in the mail today for "150+ WAYS TO HEAT UP MY SUMMER". Determined that the majority of them (exotic beach bags and island florals aside) wouldn't really heat my summer up that much. Looked at the pictures of Penelope Cruz for quite a while.
12. Did a load of dishes and cleaned up the kitchen. Began thinking about what to make for dinner. Remained uncommitted.
13. Paid stupid Sprint bill and stupid Comcast bill.
Note that "shower" hasn't quite made the list of accomplishments yet. Just doing my part to keep the stereotype of the unemployed alive!