Thursday, June 16, 2011

The Five Moods of Uma

Apologies for the language, but hey, it's the cat, not me.

Mood 1 - Angry

"Seriously?  You're going to fucking work and watch a bunch of pansies run around on a soccer field while my food dish remains empty?  Fuck you.  How about I leave you a little treat right here on your precious fucking keyboard?"

Mood 2 - Pissed off

"I swear to God if you don't get the fuck out of my face, I will slit your god-damned throat tonight when you sleep.  Won't be so funny then, will it?"

Mood 3 - Irate

"I'm fat?  Have you had a chance to look in a fucking mirror lately fat-ass?  Can you even see your penis?  Fuck you."

Mood 4 - Upset

"I get it - amateur comedian night.  Let's pick on the fucking cat because she doesn't have opposable fucking thumbs.  Fucking hilarious.  Now open the fucking door before I cough up a hairball on your fucking pillow."

Mood 5 - Infuriated

"What?  You wouldn't lick yourself if you could?  Fuck you.  You're just jealous.  Asshole."

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