Apologies for the language, but hey, it's the cat, not me.
Mood 1 - Angry
"Seriously? You're going to fucking work and watch a bunch of pansies run around on a soccer field while my food dish remains empty? Fuck you. How about I leave you a little treat right here on your precious fucking keyboard?"
Mood 2 - Pissed off
"I swear to God if you don't get the fuck out of my face, I will slit your god-damned throat tonight when you sleep. Won't be so funny then, will it?"
Mood 3 - Irate
"I'm fat? Have you had a chance to look in a fucking mirror lately fat-ass? Can you even see your penis? Fuck you."
Mood 4 - Upset
"I get it - amateur comedian night. Let's pick on the fucking cat because she doesn't have opposable fucking thumbs. Fucking hilarious. Now open the fucking door before I cough up a hairball on your fucking pillow."
Mood 5 - Infuriated
"What? You wouldn't lick yourself if you could? Fuck you. You're just jealous. Asshole."