Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Catnapping

A week or so ago flyers were posted all around the neighborhood about a missing cat, "Darwin". This evening on our walk, Kate and I found him. He was in a small wooded area and looked a little beat up, but in pretty good shape. We gently called out his name and crouched down, trying not to spook him. He meowed a few times and then warily approached us. Kate scooped him up and we start beelining the five blocks to home so we could call the number on the flyer and then steadfastly refuse the award because that is how awesome we are. After about half a block, Darwin began to protest being carried, but Kate held tight. After a block, Darwin brought out the claws, forcing Kate to put him down. Undaunted, we rushed home to call the owners and at least let them know where to find their beloved pet. Upon reaching the flyer, phone in hand, we examined the photo and came to the abrupt realization that the cat we were rescuing was definitely not Darwin and we were guilty of attempted catnapping. So, sorry about that.

Dad Pants

Urgent Public Service Announcement: When attending a college orientation with your child, the following is the required dress code for males:

1. Golf shirt. Acceptable colors include beige, ecru, cream, mushroom, tan, off-white, light brown, sand, neutral, black or oatmeal. Lowest neck button should be buttoned. If you possess neck hair, it should be proudly pube-ing out from beneath an undershirt.

2. Shorts. These are acceptable in only tan or blue. They must possess no fewer than six visible pockets. The shorts must end no more than one inch above or below the middle of the knee cap.

3. Ankle or "No See Um" socks. These can be visible, but someone is really going to have to make an effort to spot them.

4. Tennis shoes. Brand is not important, but style is. They must look like you could easily break into an extended jog, but you are just choosing not to. They should be basic in color (never white) and are allowed to have one small amount of colorful flair (i.e. the middle adidas stripe can be brightly colored).