Urgent Public Service Announcement: When attending a college orientation with your child, the following is the required dress code for males:
1. Golf shirt. Acceptable colors include beige, ecru, cream, mushroom, tan, off-white, light brown, sand, neutral, black or oatmeal. Lowest neck button should be buttoned. If you possess neck hair, it should be proudly pube-ing out from beneath an undershirt.
2. Shorts. These are acceptable in only tan or blue. They must possess no fewer than six visible pockets. The shorts must end no more than one inch above or below the middle of the knee cap.
3. Ankle or "No See Um" socks. These can be visible, but someone is really going to have to make an effort to spot them.
4. Tennis shoes. Brand is not important, but style is. They must look like you could easily break into an extended jog, but you are just choosing not to. They should be basic in color (never white) and are allowed to have one small amount of colorful flair (i.e. the middle adidas stripe can be brightly colored).