Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Tijuana Donkey Show

I'm on day five of "the experiment", have logged 84.3 miles, am a little sore in the legs and posterior but in general good spirits and health.  So, let's talk about KT.  About 10 years ago, when I got my bike, we decided to pick one up for KT as well.  Much like mine, it sat in the garage collecting dust for the next several years.  About four years ago, I started to ride my bike more frequently, increasing it's usage each Spring/Summer/Fall every year hence.  KT, however, has been a bit more hesitant.  Last year, she used the bike exactly once, pedaling with me the 3/4 mile (round trip) journey to the liquor store.  As I've mentioned before, we live in Columbia Heights, so despite the short journey, a hill was involved.  It wasn't a large hill, or a very long hill, but we weren't half way up it before KT began quite vocally informing me that "her exercise muscles hurt".  She continued to quite vocally remind me of this, mixing legible English with prehistoric sounding grunts until we arrived home, upon whence she returned her bike to the garage and it sat undisturbed for the remainder of the year.

Fast forward to last week.  In preparing for my month of no car, I walked my bike down to the local gas station to put air in the tires.  As it is Spring, and hope springs eternal, I convinced KT to walk her bike down as well and fill the tires.  It was a beautiful Spring evening, one of the few and first nice evenings we have had.  So, after filling our tires, we strolled across the street and sat on the patio of our favorite Mexican restaurant for a few beers.  After an hour or so, we decided to head for home.  The restaurant is on a busy street, and on a particularly busy intersection of that street so we walked our bikes safely across the intersection before mounting them to pedal home.  Unfortunately, immediately after getting on our bikes, we were faced with a long, steady hill.  KT immediately balked, fluttering through as many excuses as she could find ("I didn't bring my helmet", "I've had two beers", "I feel like walking").  I was slightly ahead of her and about to give in to walking the bikes home when she flew past me, pedaling like mad and emitting a guttural sound unlike anything I have ever heard before.  I quickly jumped on my bike and caught up to her, doing my utmost to try to figure out if she was in pain or merely grunting for my theatrical benefit.  When we finally reached the apex of the hill, and she caught her breath, KT summed it up perfectly when she said, "I sound like a fucking Tijuana Donkey Show!"

Despite this, she made it, and hasn't completely ruled out biking for the year.  In fact, on Sunday she went so far as to purchase a helmet.  I wasn't with (I've sworn off Walmart again after the air pump fiasco), but Audrey was kind enough to document it for me.  Behold:


Katie buys a helmet vine.co/v/b0Dtlz3mWDF

At the risk of over-explaining and diminishing the pure magic of this video, here is what happens:  KT discovers that, like most items in her world (clothes, helmets, bikes, etc), the Child size works best.  Not content, however, to simply find a snug fit and purchase, KT determines she must give the helmet a try.  She doesn't grab a bike off the rack, because that would just look crazy.  Instead she finds another more suitable mobile device and begins giving the helmet a workout.  It must have worked, as she has bought the helmet.  Biking world, it's on.

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