True story: I'm not the most fashion conscious person. In fact, the opposite (fashion unconscious?) would be a more apt description. Apart from underwear and socks and one clearance priced University of Minnesota sweatshirt, I haven't purchased "new" clothing in about three years. Instead, I rely on thrift stores to keep me clad. And by thrift stores, I don't mean fancy ones whose names contain words like "Chic" "Retro" or "Name Brand". Instead, I browse the Dirty Heights stores where it is recommended you thoroughly wash your hands several times after visiting. Anyways, all of this is just an obnoxiously wordy way of saying I may occasionally be susceptible to ridicule for my chosen outfit of the day.
Never one to pass up a chance to ridicule me, KT has turned it into a science (as I've noticed, and she agrees, she is definitely funniest when she is mean). The following - in non-chronological order - is a very incomplete list of her replies when I ask her if my outfit is suitable to be seen in public:
- "You look like a picnic blanket"
- "You do know people can see you, right?"
- "Playing tennis at the country club today, are we?"
- (KT) "What do you have going on today?" (me) "Nothing special, just a normal work day" (KT, with a snort while shaking her head) "Just go"
- "What exactly is the look you are going for?"
- "Hard to believe that came from the thrift store"
- "Is that a costume?"
- "What up P Diddy?"
- (in falsetto voice) "Sweater Boyyyyy!" (this is applicable anytime I wear a sweater)
- "What can brown do for you?"
- "What color do you think that is?"
and, my personal favorite:
- "It looks like you are attempting to create Garanimals for adults."