Thursday, November 24, 2011

13 Things You Are Better Than Me At (and Five I'm Better Than You At)

Things you are better than me at:

1.  Flipping an egg without breaking the yolk.  Yet another reason I am thankful to be married.

2.  Seeing the 3D image in those stupid effin photos in the mall kiosk where you just need to "relax your eyes".  Utter bullshit.

3.  Gleeking.  I just end up getting saliva in my nasal passage.

4.  Staying awake through the entire movie Amadeus.  I am 0-5 lifetime.

5.  Enjoying Sundays.  Sunday blues hits me about 4:30 Saturday afternoon.

6.  Karaoke.  Good for you.

7.  Packing a tin.  I had to stop chewing when KT refused to do it for me any longer.

8.  Growing a mustache.  Don't matter what sex you are.

9.  Hearing.  What?

10.  Imitating Beavis and Buttheads' laugh.   I simply can't do it.

11.  Ice skating.  I may be the only Minnesotan who has never done it.

12.  Checking tire pressure or any other automotive level that any self-respecting man should be automatically good at.

13.  Keeping my nipples properly moisturized.  As KT says, they are "like scabs".


Things I am better than you at:

1.  Eating vast amounts of pickles.

2.  Supermarket Sweep.  Also, Wheel of Fortune.

3.  Opening my throat to rapidly consume a beer.  Learned in high school, perfected in college, this skill has never left me.

4.  Bruising.  KT is exempt from this one.

5.  Imitating a loon call using only my hands and lung power.

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