Things you are better than me at:
1. Flipping an egg without breaking the yolk. Yet another reason I am thankful to be married.
2. Seeing the 3D image in those stupid effin photos in the mall kiosk where you just need to "relax your eyes". Utter bullshit.
3. Gleeking. I just end up getting saliva in my nasal passage.
4. Staying awake through the entire movie Amadeus. I am 0-5 lifetime.
5. Enjoying Sundays. Sunday blues hits me about 4:30 Saturday afternoon.
6. Karaoke. Good for you.
7. Packing a tin. I had to stop chewing when KT refused to do it for me any longer.
8. Growing a mustache. Don't matter what sex you are.
9. Hearing. What?
10. Imitating Beavis and Buttheads' laugh. I simply can't do it.
11. Ice skating. I may be the only Minnesotan who has never done it.
12. Checking tire pressure or any other automotive level that any self-respecting man should be automatically good at.
13. Keeping my nipples properly moisturized. As KT says, they are "like scabs".
Congratulations.
Things I am better than you at:
1. Eating vast amounts of pickles.
2. Supermarket Sweep. Also, Wheel of Fortune.
3. Opening my throat to rapidly consume a beer. Learned in high school, perfected in college, this skill has never left me.
4. Bruising. KT is exempt from this one.
5. Imitating a loon call using only my hands and lung power.
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